Does anyone remember the days when television used to portray love as lasting and commitment as more than a halfhearted promise only made to be broken for the inevitable heartache of those involved and the "entertainment" of others? These days of positive relational expression seem to have gone the way of the toilet in recent years. Between dramas, soap operas, sitcoms, cartoons and "reality" TV, our cultural perception of life has been severely warped.
Nothing jumps to mind faster than The Bachelor to illustrate my point. A couple of months ago I caught myself watching the first few episodes and somehow I tuned in for every single one... I'm still not quite sure how I became a regular of the Monday night drama, but I did, and I began to grow the strange attachment to those women that comes from too much time observing a stranger. I felt like I knew them in a way, that I could relate, and their lives began to matter to me. So, last night when I had to watch Jason tear up not one but two hearts with his decisions, I was actually upset. I was so... disappointed.
When I fall in love, it will be forever... or Ill never fall in love. In a restless world like this is, love is ended before its begun and too many moonlight kisses seem to cool in the warmth of the sun. When I give my heart, it will be completely, or Ill never give my heart. And I expect no less from my man when I, if I, marry. I will not compete for attention or affection and I would never want to find myself in a position of choosing between two people that I care for equally. People were designed for one other person at a time: one other person for life, whoever they may be. So maybe I am an idealist or a dreamer of sorts and maybe I have watched too many Disney movies; nevertheless, I have been witness to love that works and lasts through the toughest of trials, love that is passionate and supportive and enduring and real. I have seen love that survives and grows deeper and stronger all the way through life, love that is, often, rooted in more than this world's shallow expectations and feelings of any kind. I have seen love founded in God and truth and trust. Is this too much to ask? Are these aims set too high?
I am not looking for love right now, nor seeking attention from a man in my life, so please, please don't read this as some kind of awkward invitation. Take it as a challenge.
Guys, I'm talking to you here: be men. Maybe you are already in a relationship. Maybe you are a single chap with his eyes roaming 'round for a pretty girl to call your own, or maybe you are of the opinion that life with a woman isn't worth the drama (and this may be true); whatever your "status" I ask you not to follow the lead of men in the media. Fools are those who cannot recognize the effects of their actions; jerks are those who see them and don't care. Please, don't follow either of these examples however plentiful they are in this world. Create a new standard. You don't need a white horse to be a hero and you can reserve your shining armor for medieval reenactments. Women are looking for qualities that are much more portable than those things: trustworthiness, dependability, respect, maturity, compassion, loyalty, strength, consideration for others...
And ladies: be ladies! (Yes, we can be bold and take initiative and rock at our jobs, but how can we expect men to be all they can be if we are trying to play both roles?) Find the qualities in yourself that will balance what you want your man to be; we compliment each other by design (and not just physically). They need our trustworthiness, dependability, respect, maturity, compassion, loyalty, strength and consideration for others as much as we need theirs, even in friendship.
There is still hope out there for love. There are still people who believe in for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health so long as they both shall live. Not everyone is completely consumed by our consumer culture that tells us everything is disposable, even love, even life. Traces of traditional, moral values are still found, strewn and scattered in pieces around this world, but God knows we need more of it. We need more love. We need more faith. We need something we can trust without doubt and fear, someone we can go to when we do fail each other, when everything else slips down the drain. It just so happens that He has provided us with such a thing... but perhaps that message is best saved for another time.
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